Hey Aunt V. I saw the spot on the website for "quotes". This one needs to be cleaned up a bit for family viewing, but I knew you could handle the full version. :-)Kim

Submitted by Kimberley Johns (Nellie/Wm>Alta>Bill>Kim)
Somewhat altered by the Editor

As I've Matured:

I've learned that you cannot make
someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just asses.

I've learned that it takes years
to build up trust, and it only takes
suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by
on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better be really good at performance.

I've learned that you shouldn't
compare yourself to others - they are
more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting
long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible
for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of
how hot and steamy a relationship is at
first, the passion fades, and there had better
be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something
isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it

I've learned that the people you care most
about in life are taken from you too soon
and all the less important ones just never go away.

I've learned to say "XX##$$%&*## if they can't take a joke"
in 6 languages.
11/22/2004

LOOK-ALIKES

..........

L-Bud Burdett (Nellie/Wm>Bud) & R-Ray Smith (Nellie/Wm>Isabelle>Ray)

Bryburcon History Quiz- Whose 100th birthday is January 2, 2004? Comments and remembrances welcome.

The Hero

"A person of distinguished valor or fortitude"
Okay, why not both distinguished valor and fortitude? POW Jessica Lynch, our young woman soldier who was captured and held prisoner in an Iraqi hospital recently during the skirmish attended by the American and British troops. Wounded, frightened, captured, in enemy hands and isolated from her fellow soldiers, a victim of war, a prisoner, scared (if she's normal), is this a hero? Could be, could very well be. She, in all likelihood, is.
Mohammed, an Iraqi lawyer who traveled on foot approximately 36 miles over a two-day period during wartime to bring information to the Marines about this American woman being held prisoner in a hospital, is this a hero? A person of distinguished valor or fortitude? Perhaps a person of both distinguished valor and fortitude? What color and nationality do heroes come in? Caucasian? White? Mediterranean? Tan? Your call. Bill Johns

Eleven-year-old daughter Julia, being somewhat of a language phenom, doesn't do math. It isn't civilized, you know. But parents and teachers, having strange notions about a well-rounded education, seem to have a fixation about difficult, unnecessary things; math being one good example. Was overseeing a difficult practice session--they're all difficult practice sessions--where Julia struggled womanfully to the bitter end. The last problem finished, Julia exclaimed, "Let my people go!!" I think Moses would be pleased. Or at least, understanding. Love ya',
Bill Johns4-18-2003

In the Ole Days - How did we survive?
Having read some of the "How Did We Survive" before, I found some new items in this one....It was a rare occasion for us to go to a doctor...I am adding some things I remember from my childhood.
Mom playing the role of doctor by using kerosene on cuts. I have heard that some mothers used it to treat for head lice. I can't remember one of us ever having head lice... She went to the drugstore and bought Davis eye water if we had infected eyes.....And sulpher salve from the Watkins door to door salesman to treat just about everything else.....Why she could have been sued for practicing without a license and endangering children.
Mom used a wood stove to cook on ...and a fireplace to heat with....Didn't she realize she was slowly killing us with the smoke and fumes...........And later the fumes from a kerosene stove which were much worse and smelled awful...Talk about child abuse. We walked on dusty roads, and played in dirt playgrounds, swam in the dark waters of the Hillsborough River.....None of us had asthma, though I can't figure out why...We did have colds, but they could be doctored with kerosene, the medicine cabinet staple...Reatha J Albury, Forwarded by Lois Smith Miller

LOOK-ALIKES

.................

Left - Native American Webmaster........ Right - Martha nell (Nellie>Wm>Alta>Martha Nell)

Try http://nativelonghouse.com/about.html and look at this lady's picture down in the body of the page. To me, there's a striking resemblence to MN. Features are a bit sharper but the resemblance is there. Oh, what the hell? I'll just cut-and-paste. She is apparently web master for a fairly comprehensive web site geared toward Native Americans. She's Shoshone and Cajun. You wanna hazard a guess as to what we are? Bill

Cousins 2002 LtoR Corky Greene Wofford (Mildred), Reatha Johns albury (Alta Ruth) & Dot Burdett, wife of Gerald (Nellie/Wm>Gerald George>Jerry>Gerald James Burdett)

News item from the University of Washington, Seattle: Workers are spraying the campus evergreens with a mixture of skunk musk and coyote urine in order to discourage theft of the trees that all too often end up in dorm rooms decorated for Christmas...Well, whatever works, but college dorm rooms are not noted for smelling radically different to the above mentioned concoction...By the way, where does one obtain large quantities of coyote urine?...Submitted by Virginia

I thought this was good! - Kevin (Nellie/Wm>Isabelle>Lois>Kevin)
A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In a room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" - and he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. "My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives we are dropped, crumpled and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you never lose your value: dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who love you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or whom we know, but by WHO WE ARE."

"Never before in my life have I felt so intimidated by anything." Quote by Bob Miller (Nellie/Wm>Isabelle>Lois-wife of Bob) regarding their new computer. 10-5-02

November 10, 2002, this pansy (Nellie Bryant Burdett's favorite flower) crochet piece by Gerry Johns Fay will be raffled off at the Bryant-Burdett Reunion, Tampa, Florida. This is one of many family treasures expected to be raffled & auctioned at the reunion. See you there.

JOE HIGGINS (Nellie/Wm>Viola>Joe)

One time "Uncle Joe" was charged with the offense of running a stop sign. By the time he got to court he was ready to swear that no stop sign was present at the site where he supposedly ran it. Someone went out to inspect, and for sure, no sign was there. In later years Joe would tell about how he had gone out (in the middle of the night?) and had sawed the sign off, loaded it up and carried it away. He was acquitted...Gail Tharpe-Lucero 7/27/02

Talked to my brother, Jim The Knife Maker, this a.m. He sounds really good compared to a couple of days ago. Anyhow, back to the gene pool thingy. Our oldest brother Mart had gotten his back broken from a collapsing crane boom and spent a lot of time in the local (Tampa) VA hospital. Some of those vets on the spinal cord injury floor would literally give up on life. The docs got to noticing Mart's attitude and incessant mouth. The medical people would put one of these depressed people in the room with Mart. Mart's attitude was that they would either talk with him or be prepared to listen to him. After about a week of this, these vets would, in self-defense, start talking. Almost invariably, their first words would be, "Would you mind shutting your G.D. mouth?" Usually from then on, they were on the mend. How's that for a little tidbit of family lore?
(by Bill Johns from a conversation with Jim Johns, 4/30/02).

While I was reading Barb Burdett Slaughterbeck's "The Chamber Pot" I found myself thinking of Grandma Nellie Burdett and her storytelling. One time she told about the "Dutch" (Germans) where she lived "Up North". A Dutch immigrant entered a variety store and asked for a "beed-feesul." Said the storekeeper, "A big whistle?" "No no! A BEED-FEESUL!" "Uh…a…bead…fees…" "Oh! A sheet pot!" "Oh!" said the storekeeper, "A bed vessel! A bedpan!" "Ja, ja! A beed-feesul!" Virginia

"Some of these Unemployment claimants are so hurt. And so ugly natured. However, if I'm ever tempted to see them as other than immortal souls with the light of God on them, I need only remember that the best person I ever knew died homeless, was buried in borrowed clothes, and the expenses of her death and dying were paid by a moonshining poacher." Virginia's Journal, 1995

My mom pulled out of our street onto Armenia Avenue in Tampa and headed off to do some shopping. Another driver, a man, began waving at her and calling, and she ignored him. He kept waving, gesturing toward the top of our car and calling to my mom. Finally she pulled over at a gas station and got out of the car. There, clinging to the top of the car and with every hair in the air, was our cat. Cheryl Albury

Aunt Dorothy called, and I told her I had been suffering from insomnia. She prescribed the following cure: 24 bottles of beer. Each night beat one egg white until fluffy. Beat the yolk in with the white, and then pour slowly into a bottle of beer. Drink shortly before going to bed. Repeat for 23 more nights. I told her that I had given up beer because it made me irritable. Somebody else want to try Aunt Dorothy's Cure? Bill Johns.

ALTA'S CHILDREN GO TO TOWNOne time Mama took the seven of us to town, probably to see the doctor at a clinic. That trip we got a rare treat. She took us into a drugstore and seated us in a line on stools at the soda fountain. Although we were wild as March hares most of the time, when we went out among other people shyness tended to civilize us. We were instructed to order something inexpensive, just a "cold drink". The waitress walked along, making notes of what we wanted. We remembered to say "Please, thank you and ma'am, " in the appropriate places. "I'll have a Coca Cola, please ma'am." "I'll have a root beer. Yes ma'am." The two youngest of us, Gerry and Virginia, probably were no more than four and three years old. Gerry's turn came, and she spoke up boldly, (no pleases and ma'ams) "I'll have a beer."...submitted by Virginia

Today is Dec. 3rd. It should be colder than a mummys foot outside. My Christmas lights are all up outside (thanks to the kids and grandkids) and the Geranium pots on the porch are in full bloom. The planters on the deck in back still have Petunias in bloom. There are Calendulas and Snapdragon in bloom in the flower garden and my Roses are budding out. If I wanted this kind of a Christmas, I would have stayed in Florida. I washed windows today, out side with nothing on but a light-weight sweatshirt with the sleeves pushed up and I sweat like a dog doin you know what with razor blades. If it keeps this up, I'm going to have to get out the lawnmower and mow the grass. I cannot believe this. It's warmer than spring. I suppose I shouldn't be complaining because the airs not on and either is the furnace. LOL But there's nothing as pretty as a white Christmas. The residents have taken advantage of the warm weather and everyone has splurged on the decorations. You should see it. The whole town is lit up. Nuff complaining. Luv you later BARB

Here are some more funny things in our family's history.
Brandon, our second child, was born on New Year's Day 1992. It is a difficult birthday to have because of being so close to Christmas. One year we had decided to put off having a party until around the 10th, which is my (Camille's) birthday, to try to spend a few more days recovering from Christmas. However, on the 1st we wanted Brandon to know this was really his birthday so we were telling him Happy Birthday and asking him if he was excited today was his birthday? He was standing in a chair where we were pointing out the calendar to him and he turned around and looked us straight in the eye and said, "There's no cake, no ice cream, no presents, it's not much of a birthday!"
Needless to say, I quickly went and wrapped a present and brought it to him so he could at least have a present on his real birthday.
I was recently making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I remembered a time I was asking how Brandon wanted his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He said just a little peanut butter. I asked him, "Don't you like peanut butter?"
"No," was his reply.
I was a little preplexed and asked, "Then why not just a jelly sandwich?"
"The peanut butter helps hold the jelly on," he expalined.
You had to laugh!
A few days ago Johnny, who is 20 months old, came running down the hall, where the hall ends and the dining room begins it changes from carpet to tile. He fell and dropped the toy he had and landed on both of his hands. I expected cries and a plea to kiss the boo boo's, but was surprised (when watching from a distance) he got up kissed one hand and then the other, picked up his toy and ran off to play. I felt rather unneeded and a bit pleased at the same time!
Aunt Virginia, I hope to get some pictures together soon. I have to admit my pictures are here, there and everywhere. I've tried to corral them into one box but that box is difficult to get to and I've felt more like upchucking lately than looking for those pictures. Anyway, I hope to have some for you to take back to Washington with you after the reunion. Since I don't have a scanner anyway I'd have to mail them to you.
We are really looking forward to the reunion!
Love,
Camille

http://www.northpole.com/cooking/cat001.html
Here is an awesome site with over a hundred cookie recipes. Thought it would be good for the holidays.
Love you, mindy 12-11-01

Dear Aunt Virginia, I was at the website a minute ago and read the "Jots" section. I don't know if these will apply to that section or be better somewhere else but I thought they might be enjoyed by others. I don't know about copyright laws. You may not be able to use the quotes from "She Who Laughs, Lasts!" In the copyright section of the book it reads "All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means--electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other--except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher." I guess if you can't maybe you will enjoy them! I think of this website as a Round Robin letter for the family and not as a publication but I don't know the current laws regarding the net.
This is a quote from a book I read "She Who Laughs, Lasts!" "Kelsey, my neice's five-year-old daughter, listened attentively to her Sunday school teacher read the story of the Good Samaritan. "'... They stripped him of his clothes, beat him, and went away, leaving him half dead.' The teacher then continued with the rest of the story. "When Kelsey got home, she needed to clear up one thing. 'Mamma, which half of the man was dead -- The top half or the bottom half?'" by Donna Garrett
I was also thinking of an experience I had with Moriah a few years back. We had a cassette tape that we played over and over again with a song called, "God is Bigger Than the Boogy Man" As Moriah was learning to talk and sing she would love to sing that song. The only problem was she would forget some of the words. We would be shopping and she would begin to sing, "God is boogy man!" Many times I would go behind her and sing it the right way, just so those in ear shot wouldn't think I was teaching my child some warped philosophy!
I have a couple of other quotes from the book "She Who Laughs, Lasts!" This is a mini story by Liz Curtis Higgs. "Marriage is more manageable with humor. Laughing relationships last longer, and couples who cut up create ties that bind for a lifetime. Sandy from Pennsylvania sees it this way: 'After all these years of marriage, there's a sense of "this-oughta-be-good!" in our approach to each other's idiosyncrasies. Laughter is just another way of saying, "I love you."' "Cathy was sitting on the couch when she heard the drier go off. She knew the clothes couldn't be dry yet, so since her husband, John, was in the kitchen, she called out to him, 'Honey, please turn on the dryer, would you?' "Soon, from the other room, she overheard him saying, 'Ooh, Baby, I love you so much. You're so beautiful. I love your lint trap.' "'What on earth are you doing?' Cathy called out. "'Turning on the drier.'" And here's another one from "She Who Laughs, Lasts!" this by Charlene Ann Baumbich. WARNING! Don't read if you are eating! "George and I were engaged in a lively conversation when he stopped talking for a moment and retrieved his white, no-frills hanky out of his back pocket. Unfolding it, he vigorously blew his nose. I continued to talk without skipping a beat. " ...continued

After several good snorts, he folded the hanky right on the creases, again and again, until it was returned to its perfect square. He put it in his right hand and slid it down into his back pocket. "When he looked up at me, I had become mute. My mouth was agape. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, and it showed on my face. "'Is something wrong?' "'Do you always fold your hanky like that after you blow your nose?' "'Yes. Is that a problem?' "'Maybe.' "'Why?' "'After twenty-five years of married life. I had no idea you folded your hanky back up like that after blowing your nose.' "'So?' "'So, I'm sorry to tell you that when I'm doing laundry and find the hanky so neatly folded in your back pocket, I assume it hasn't been used and I simply put it back in your drawer without washing it.' "It was George's turn to stand with his mouth agape. After a couple beats passed, he responded. "'No wonder I always have so much trouble getting my glasses clean.'"

...I was thinking a writing a book a couple of years back (I still might, just haven't gotten around to it) it would be called, "101 Things to Do with a Wet Wipe!" I got the idea one Sunday morning when sitting on the floor trying to get the kids dressed for church. I noticed how badly the TV screen needed to be cleaned. The wet wipes were there and so I used one. Then as I was putting on Nathan's shoes I realized they looked awfully dirty, wet wipe to the rescue!

Have you ever gone into a fast food joint and the only available table looks like King Kong just left? Wet wipe cleans the way! How about after the kids have been playing in the car, while you were at the ATM, and the mirror was momentarily being used for artistic purposes. A quick wipe and you can proceed to your next destination while avoiding the backup accident! Anyway, I often wonder how in the world my mother survived without wet wipes!

Speaking of my mother. I was talking with her recently and we were discussing how I would survive in today's society with soooooooooooooo many children. I began to think, wait a minute! It should be very easy for me to survive considering my great-grandmother had 12 children. She survived without an electric washing machine or dryer. She did not have a microwave, an electric stove, running water, telephone, in-door plumbing, electricity, automatic air conditioning and heat, a grocery store on every corner, Wal-Mart, not to mention wet wipes! I have never once built a fire (outdoors or in a stove). I have not had to carry water (unless of course, I have a water preferrence). Yet I find myself thinking this job is really hard! What am I thinking?!
I also have a car that can legally go 70 mph.

I know there are other funny things my kids have said over the years and I will try hard to write them down in the future. Well, I had better go!Love,
Camille

Gerry's Doodles

Why do cats sit on a person's lap when she is trying to crochet? Why does my cat bite me when I talk on the phone?

When Sam, my black lab, goes out to potty she dawdles, and I have to tell her to get busy and get through. I don't leave them out in the yard unwatched because there is a road they can get out on, and I worry that they will get hit by a car. When Sam was a puppy, our older dog, Bear, would bite her if she didn't obey us.

Have a good evening. Oh yes I wanted to send some stories about Lloyd B. One that I remembered was giving him a quarter for each hand and telling him if he opened his hand he would lose his money. That made shopping with him a joy. Gerry

When Grandma and Grandpa were in Tampa there was a mission on Franklin Street. They would take me there sometimes. On Christmas Grandma would go and help make food and serve it. One time she put on a play. There was another woman and her daughter. In the play Cecelia (Corky Greene Wofford) went up to the woman and told her that we hadn't had anything to eat in a week. Cecelia said, "We haven't had anything to eat but ho-cake." A little girl laughed, and then everybody else began to laugh. Grandma often went down to the mission to help them, especially on Easter and Christmas. I guess she knew what it was all about.

Lloyd B & the Certs
When Lloyd was little we had a big metal office desk in the foyer. He liked to crawl up under the desk, and he had some of his possessions there. He called it his "hidey hole", and when he had gotten into trouble, if he could make it to the hidey hole I usually let him be home free because I wanted it to continue to be a place of safety for him.

One day Mindy asked me if I had seen her roll of Certs. I told her that I had seen Lloyd holding them, and she brought him into the kitchen, which is beside the foyer. She asked, "Lloyd, do you have my Certs?" "Uh...no-o, Mindy." "Lloyd, Mom said she saw you with them. Where are they?" "Uh…Mindy…the wind just blew them out of my hand…and out into the pasture…and the cow ate them." Mindy marched over to the hidey hole, crawled under the desk and emerged holding the Certs. She poked them in front of his face and told him flatly, "Well, it was a tough battle with that cow, Lloyd, but I won." My husband, Clyde, had been standing aside as this went on, and at that point he muttered, "Missus B, he's only four and telling whoppers like that. What is he going to tell when he's a teenager?" Virginia

One day Camille had come to visit with I think just three kids (that's
all she had then). I put in a lengthy video (Black Beauty) for the kids
to watch so she and I could talk. We had been in the kitchen engrossed
in conversation for some time when Brandon let out a howl and began to
cry uncontrollably. Camille rushed to him and began to question him in
an effort to find out what was wrong. Between the tears and loud
crying, she finally understood what he was saying . "I didn't want it
to be over."
Another time when Brandon was six or seven years old, Camille came for a
visit. We had fixed a sandwich for lunch and after talking for a while,
I said I would put a video in for the kids to watch. She said they
didn't have time as they were leaving soon. Brandon, who was always soft
spoken, came up real close beside the rocking chair where I was sitting
and said, "I really want to watch the video, but you know how mothers
are." Reatha A 10-8-01

The Greyhound Bus trip across the country was not without its light moments. Bus stations tend to be in inner city areas, and the terminal in Salt Lake City is no exception. We were there close to a mission, and it was shortly before Thanksgiving. Posted on the mission was a sign, which read, "Faith, love, charity. We need turkeys." Virginia 12/7/01

Today is Dec. 3rd. It should be colder than a mummys foot outside. My Christmas lights are all up outside (thanks to the kids and grandkids) and the Geranium pots on the porch are in full bloom. The planters on the deck in back still have Petunias in bloom. There are Calendulas and Snapdragon in bloom in the flower garden and my Roses are budding out. If I wanted this kind of a Christmas, I would have stayed in Florida. I washed windows today, out side with nothing on but a light-weight sweatshirt with the sleeves pushed up and I sweat like a dog doin you know what with razor blades. If it keeps this up, I'm going to have to get out the lawnmower and mow the grass. I cannot believe this. It's warmer than spring. I suppose I shouldn't be complaining because the airs not on and either is the furnace. LOL But there's nothing as pretty as a white Christmas. The residents have taken advantage of the warm weather and everyone has splurged on the decorations. You should see it. The whole town is lit up. Nuff complaining. Luv you later BARB

The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a nativity
> scene in Washington, D.C. this Christmas. This isn't for any
> religious reason though.
>
> They simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin
> in the Nation's capitol. There was no problem, however, finding
> enough asses to fill the stable. Submitted by Kim Johns 12-26-01

My mom pulled out of our street onto Armenia Avenue in Tampa and headed off to do some shopping. Another driver, a man, began waving at her and calling, and she ignored him. He kept waving, gesturing toward the top of our car and calling to my mom. Finally she pulled over at a gas station and got out of the car. There, clinging to the top of the car and with every hair in the air, was our cat. Cheryl Albury

"Wolf, Wolf!"
When I was little we had a German Shepherd dog named Wolf. One time he wandered off, and we couldn't find him for days. My Aunt Virginia and my mom were driving down Hillsborough Avenue some distance from our house when they saw a pickup truck on the road. The truck was driven by a man, and there was a German Shepherd in the back who looked exactly like Wolf. Aunt Virginia said she would call the dog, and if he recognized them, then it was our dog. She rolled down the car window and yelled, "Wolf! Wolf!" The dog did not react, but the man sure did. Cheryl Albury