THE SIGNIFYING MONKEY

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This Signifying Monkey just keeps getting funnier and funnier. Everytime I read it I start at the top and go to wherever the end takes me. Po little thing, jist gettin all beat up. lol BarbBurdettS 7-26-03

Editor's Note: Readers, I would recommend that you read The Signifying Monkey aloud to yourselves. It helps to bring out clearly the meaning of the verse and also to bring to life the delightful African-American flavor of the language.

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I was first introduced to "The Tale Of The Signifying Monkey" when I was barely ten-years old. I've been fascinated with it ever since. The signifying monkey represents a jokester or prankster in African folklore. He often tricks or misleads with the use of language. "Signifying" was frequently used to communicate between slaves while keeping slave owners clueless.

I came to believe during the last forty or fifty years that I was the only person left alive who still loved this little monkey. But with the advent of the computer and especially the internet, I've only been able to find about 8,400 references to this little monkey so far; and the list is growing daily.

A lot of the material I've been able to find isn't suitable for the average family gathering. So, as story tellers have done for thousands of years, I had to make most of this up. I tried as hard as I could to remain faithful to the African-American idiom while composing this. It should be read with a rap cadence, very rapidly. From line 96 on to the ending 217th line, the poem is pure "Bill", while much of the earlier lines were modified by me to make the whole poem presentable to little children and family gatherings, not just to night club patrons. The original rendition of the nightclub performance can be obtained by anyone interested.
Bill

THE TALE OF THE SIGNIFYING
MONKEY

Way down the jungle deep
Lion step on the signifying monkey's feet.
Monkey say, "Hey!!!', can't you see?You standing on my dadblame feet!"
Monkey stay inna ol' Acacia tree.
Justa jivin' that lion ever day o' the week.
Ever' day befo' the sun go down,
Lion kick his little monkey butt all over that jungle town.
Monkey get wise---start usin' his wit---
Start tellin' everbody, "Gonna put me a' end t' this ol' butt-kickin' bit.
This gettin' old;
Lion shoulda' quit. He done been told'."

Run upon th' lion the very next day---
"Say hey Mr. Lion; they's a big BAD Momma coming yo' way.
Somebody you don' know---
'Cause he just break away from th' Ringling Brother's Show.
Talk about yo' people one heck of a way.
Talk about yo' people th' live-long day.
Mr. Lion, you know that ain't right.
Run upon that elephant, you to be ready fo' a fight."
Lion jump up---one heck of a rage---
Like a young man smokin', smokin' sage.

Run upon the elephant talkin' to th' swine.
Say, "Awright, you big ugly Momma! Yo' butt o' mine!
-Now, you swine leave us be---
This fool's butt belong ta me!"
Lion jump up; make a fancy pass
---Elephant side-step 'im---knock 'im dead in th' grass.
Screw up his jaw, mess up his face,
Break all fo' 'is legs, knock 'is butt outta' place.

PART TWO

Fight th' whole night long; fight all th' next day.
Somehow th' whip' little lion manage to get away.
Drag 'imself back to that jungle town---mo' dead than alive---
Just t' run into that monkey an' mo' o' his signifyin' jive.
Monkey say, "Hey, looka here dummy---you don' look so well;
Look like somebody done rung yo' bell.
Yo' eyes is red; your butt is blue;
Know th' first place this don' mean nutin' to you.
Tell my wife befo' you lef',
'Shoulda' whip' yo' sorry butt my everlovin' self.'
Just shut up! Don't you roar!
Or I jump right outta' this tree an' whip yo' sorry butt some mo'.
Don' be lookin' up here with yo' stuck-up ol' case,
Or I spit through the fork of dis tree right inna' middle o' yo' ugly face."

Little monkey get happy, start gettin' down.
-Foot-miss-th'-limb-Butt-hit-th'-ground---
Like a streak o' greased lightnin; like a ball o' white heat,
Lion jump that little monkey's butt wit' all fo' feet---
Buckets o' tears come t' little monkey's eyes;
Little monkey say, "Look Mr. Lion---I apol-o-gize!"---
Let me up outta this san',
I stand up 'n fight you like a natural man!"
Monkey say, "Look-a-here Momma! Ain't you swell?
Ever'body see you jump me afta' I fell.
Fight like a man should---
I kick yo' sorry butt all over these woods."
Make th' lion mad!
Boldest challenge he eva' had.

PART THREE

Monkey 'n the lion square off --- one heckuva fight---
Monkey run up a banana tree plum outta' sight.
Monkey say---"Mr Lion, you might's well go 'way---
Ain't comin' down no mo' t'day."
Monkey way up dis banana tree startin' ta grin,
"Say hey Mr. Lion, this so easy---it's a sin---
Take me th' stalk o' one o' these bananas,
Whip yo' butt 'till it sing the Star Spangled Banner!
Eva' mess wit' me again---
Send you back t' see my elephant friend!

Looka-here-you-dum'-Momma-You cain't win-
You just been shucked and jived again!"
Monkey say: "Mr. Lion---listen careful-lik'-
This 'bout serious as a heart attack.
Thing I tell ya' nex' gonna break y' heart!
---So sad---I don' even know where t' start.
Yo' momma no good---yo' sister worse---
Even catch her stealin' from her own momma's purse."

Eva' body waitin' ta see what happen nex'---
Sound like that lion done-a-ready been hex't---
Everthing get deathly quiet; nuthin' make a soun'.
---Lion let out such a roar---plum' shake the ground!
Knock little birds outta' th' air---Shake the bushes!---
Knock mighty elephants back on their tushes.
Roar so loud even banana trees fall down---
Oops!! Little monkey---back onna' ground---

Little monkey look up 'n say:
"Please Mr. Lion, please don' take my life!
Got thirteen kids an' a very sickly wife!"
All my money I give ta' you---
Mr. Lion---jus' lemme live---please do."
But th' lion kick 'im inna butt---break 'is scrawny neck---
Lef' that little monkey one heck of a wreck.
Little monkey look up inna' sky---
---Tears in 'is eyes---
Nothin' he could see---nothin' he could hear-
Be th' end t' his signifyin' career.

PART FOUR

Little monkey cain't do nuthin'; jus' lie aroun'.
Few days later, witch doctor make a swing back through town.
Witch Doctor say, "Hey monkey---down on ya' luck?---
Look like you been run over by a truck."
Monkey say, "Oh, me 'n th' lion have a little friendly set-to.
Things get way outta' hand-this time---I be through"---
Monkey say, "Fool neva' could take a joke.
This time, really go fo' broke."

Witch doctor say, "Okay-Put yo' little butt back together again.
You 'member this---that lion---ain't-yo'-frien'---
Now on, leave that lion be,
O' nex', you dealin' wit' me."
Monkey promise (with crossed fingers); make a solemn oath.
Signifying to hisself 'n th' witch doctor both.

Very nex' time lion come aroun',
Little monkey start ta' puttin' lion's family down.
Lion get so mad, can't see straight.
Roar 'n make a charge like a truck-load o' freight.
Nex' thing th' lion see,
Just befo' he run smack into a tree.
Little monkey laugh so hard---bring tears to 'is eyes.
Witch doctor shake 'is head, 'n say, "Monkey---that ain't wise---
Lion gonna' getcha , can't you see?
Any part o' yo' butt lef'---belong t' me."---

Monkey tell th' witch doctor, "Member whatcha tell me Sir. 'Member whatcha say.
Try t' behave th' live-long day.
Mr. Witch Doctor, sir, no disrespect to you;
Just do what you gotta do.
But when that crazy lion hit that sticker tree-START ACTIN' FUNKY---
Can't help it Mr. Witch Doctor, sir. I WUZ BORN T' BE A MONKEY!"

Stained glass by Virginia

PART FIVE

Witch doctor say,---"Monkey---tell ya' what we gonna' do-
You 'n th' lion's gentlemens soon's we be through.
You two ain' learn nuthin' yet.
Got my plan awready set---
You two goin' on a safari-
Bof' you ta'gether---cross th' great Kalahari"---

Monkey protest---Say---"Mr witch Doctor sir,
Can't trust that lion, he kill me sure."
Witch Doctor say, "Shut up, be a man-
Lissen-up while I tell ya' my plan.
You be told where th' water stay,
Lion know where th' food be fo' ever' day.
Mr. Lion mess wit'choo---
Get awful' thirsty befo' you two be through.
Now---you jack wit' Mr. Lion---
From hunger you be dyin'.
You two learn to co-ope-rate,
Both finish that safari wit' a bran' new slate.
Either one o' you fail t' learn---
Big hot desert where bof' yo' butts gonna' burn."

Monkey say-"What if I won't go?"---
Witch Doctor say, "I hex y' wit' a death be awful painful slow."-
Monkey say, "I ready t' go!
Just ask---just wanna know."
Lion protest!!---Say he Th' King o' th' Jungle---
Witch Doctor tell 'em, "Mr. King, this one trip you sho' don' wanna' bungle.
You think you th' king---
See how good you fly wit' jes' one wing.
You two get my drif'?
You don't; this cool jungle air be th' last thing you two eva' sniff."

PART SIX

Lion an' Monkey say,
"Already gone, we lef' yesta'day."
Monkey start right out---signifying.
Desert get pretty hot---so do th' lion-
Lion roar, "Shut yo' mouth monkey, or you already done."
Monkey think, "Ain't this a mess; this lion ain't no fun."
Lion tell th' monkey---very first day-
"Save that smart mouth fo' eatin' or I make you pay."
Monkey say, "Mr. Lion sir, 'less you plannin' on drinkin' san',
Might wanna' think on a slightly different plan."

Early onna' second day---after a mighty cold night---
Monkey ask th' lion, "You wanna drink o' fight?"
Lion only roar a little. Say , "Uh, Monkey I think I know jes' how ya' feel.
'Bout ready fo' yo' very first meal?"
Monkey say, "Don't mind if I do.
I be ready Mr. Lion---how 'bout you?"
"After you sir" say Th'King o' Th' Jungle.
Ain't forget how th' witch doctor explain that word, "bungle".

Ova' breakfast monkey ask, "You like travelin' mornin', noon, or night?"
Lion say, "'Liminate noon outright.
That noon-day sun right ova'head---
Won't be long---we both be dead---
Night a mite too risky;
When all o' those night-critters get awful frisky."
Monkey say, "How 'bout early mornin'---late evenin'---okay wit' you?"
Lion say, "Sound like a plan, I believe that'll do."

Funny at this late date,
How th' monkey n' th' lion learn to co-ope-rate.
They travel alla' way across the great Kalahari.
Make good time wit' their two-man safari.
The trip go sa good,
Lion suggest they walk alla way aroun'. Monkey say, "Think we should?"
Lion say, "Le's try oua best.
Nuttin' else---give that witch doctor---much-needed rest---"

They walk alla' way 'round that giant desert land; start back across.
Monkey say, "Think we make it?" Lion say, "Follow you---you th' boss---"
Lion 'member where provisions left. Monkey know where th' water stay.
Two ol' buddies arrive home, 'bout crack o' day.
Witch doctor been drinkin' Maalox, poppin' Tums,
Get a real tummy-ache soon's he see those two desert-travelin' bums.
Witch doctor say-"How'd it go?"---
Monkey say, "We be here a lot sooner if we hadn't been so slow."
Lion say, "Sho' good ta' be back;
'Bout time t' hit th' sack."
Lion ask the monkey if he be by for tea.
Monkey ask how 'bout he drop in around three.

Witch doctor think, "Those two shuckin', ' jivin' me,
Nail both their mangy hides to th' nearest tree!!"
Monkey still be th' monkey.
Eva' now n' then get really funky.
Still like good practical joke-
Just not mean wit' it---since last we spoke---
Lion still king o' th' jungle---still know how t' roar---
Now be when 'is spirits soar.

Witch doctor think, "This 'bout ta put me outta' work;
Monkey or th' lion no longer a jerk.
Maybe the old way wuz best---
Maybe better see a head doctor; get this off my chest."
Witch doctor soon retire---start sellin' trinkets to th' tourist---
Monkey 'n th' lion do pretty good-neither eva' be 'zactly a purist.
Sound like eva' body winnin'.
So, why don' we jus' call this th' last pitch o' th' ninth---
INNIN'

The End